Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I Don't Care About Your Band

I'm not sure if it's that February is the month for lovers, or my recent dating demise, but for some reason this month, I have the urge to write about matters of the heart. I think when you are dealing with such issues, the only good way to do so is with a bit of humor. I mean, if we cant laugh it off, what is the point?

Last summer I read a hilarious book, on this particular subject: I Dont Care About Your Band - What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I've Dated by Julie Klausner. It's the true story of comedy writer Julie Klausner's rocky road to "romantic enlightenment." It's described as a book about the humiliations we endure to find love and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage.

I think this book is what I hope portions of this blog to be - a comedic look into insights of dating the interesting, damaged and crazy characters out there. I'm far from a comedian, but she is ...funny. Check it out.

Some of my favorite quotes from this book:
  • (Theory on guys vs. women): A man is hard to find, good or otherwise, but guys are everywhere now...Meanwhile, I know way more women than girls...The problem is that we ended up at the mercy of a generation of guys who don't quite seem to know what's expected of them, whether it's earning a double income or texting someone after she blows you. There are no more traditions or standards, and manners are like cleft chins or curly hair - they only run in some families....It seems like everybody is just confused.
  • As long as I can remember, I've had to fight off urges to chase and conquer boys who seem blase. It's decidedly unladylike.
  • When you're young, and you're habitually dating the damaged, and they don't come through, you have to make the conscious choice to separate the columns in your head that say "This is who i am" and This is how I am being treated." And then you have to figure out how to let go of somebody who's gone, not because your pacified in the realization that you're not liked, but because you figure out that maybe you're the one who doesn't like him. Not just how he acts, but who he is. And then you have to decide if you want to keep going out with guys you don't think are great, or if you like yourself enough to hang out for a while on your own.
  • Being the only girl seems like an awful lot of attention, and I was used to feeling like I did backflips for the interest of the one attractive guy who came around every second solstice.
  • That's a rule I made up that I think is a good one: If I'm iffy about being attracted to somebody right away, but he goes about pursuing me in a way I think is upstanding, I always give the guy a second chance. It's a way to be strict about your standards, but open-minded about your contenders. Men are way more likely to become more appealing to you over time than they are to magically grow manners.
There are some other funnier, raunchier quotes and insights in this book. But I'll leave that up to you to explore in due time. And one of these days I'll get back to my own writing. For now, though, I'm reflecting on thoughts from those far wiser than me.

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