If We Couldn't Cachinate, We'd All Go Insane

I learned a new word today: cachinate. To laugh loudly, hard, too much or convulsively; guffaw. This word is even important enough to show up on a GRE preparation word list.

Sentence: Though I did not see any reason to laugh, the man next to me at the movie theater suddenly cachinated in a booming voice.

If you need to know it to enter the highest form of higher education, then you need it for life, I always say.

Seriously, I really should have heard this word before, not only because I am wordsmith as my day job, I am also guilty of cachinnating. A lot. I don’t laugh exceptionally loudly, but I do enjoy a good (and frequent) laugh.

Unfortunately, despite what I see as me being a joyous participant of life, others view cachinating as a form of diztiness (me? A ditz? Huh?). I’ve even had someone say, because of my laughing, that they “cant imagine me doing a real job.”

Uh, thanks, you stoic Scrooge. No, I kid. But, it seems that there is an actual Facebook group called “I Hate Guys Who Cachinate.” Their description: For all the girls, and gay boys, who are fed up with those cachinating asses who either won't give you the time of day or are obsessed beyond cuteness! Where are the cuddlers at, eh? That's what we want ya know... a repeat cuddler, a drinking buddy, a sex partner ya know...and of course, someone who won't make it awkward the next morning! ...P.S. the dictionary meaning for cachinate does not apply here!

This group really confuses me. What the hell are they talking about here?? I for, one would never join this group. If a man don’t cachinate, we ain't meant to be. And the goofier the cachinating, the better. Clearly this group is not talking about convulsively laughing, but to what are they referring? I feel like I’m taking a dirty version of the SAT where you have to deduce the meaning of a word based on the sentence and other secondary clues. I am stumped. Cachinating asses? Who are obsessed beyond cuteness? I get being obsessed with cuteness. But, ahh hahah I’m already cachinating again, I just cant control myself. What was I saying? Oh right, strange facebook groups devoted to disregarding true meaning of words.

In the recent news category of this group it says : Stay strong ladies- not all men cachinate.

That’s for damn sure!?

Anyways, I really like the word guffaw. I’m not sure why, but it reminds me of that Celebrity Jeopordy Skit with Sean Connery. Here is a little excerpt:

Alex Trebek: Let's just go to "Animal Sounds" for $600. This is the sound a doggy makes. [Connery buzzes in ] Mr. Connery.

Sean Connery: Moo. [ buzzer sounds ]

Alex Trebek: No.

Sean Connery: Well, that's the sound your mother made last night! [ laughs ]

Alex Trebek: No! Good Lord! We would've accepted "bow-wow" or "ruff"!

Sean Connery: Ah, ruff. Just the way your mother likes it Trebek!

Go forth and cachinate, my friends.