Wednesday, March 30, 2011

My Boyfriend's Back!

He went away....or so the lyrics of this popular oldies song begin. Yes, friends...I haven't had much exciting dating news these days, but an old monster from my past re-surfaced in my life today.

We all remember crazy Rolls. I mean, this dude. was. nuts. I didnt even have a chance to tell the second part of that saga yet. Long story short...Rolls contact me about a month after he went off on me and apologized and wanted to hang out again. Why I accepted his apology or invitation is beyond me, but hey...we all make mistakes. We went to a baseball game, and to say it was awkward is a UNDERSTATEMENT. Remembering that night makes me break out in hives, in fact. I thanked the baseball gods when, after just an hour or so, he decided to leave. The following day I received "how do you think that went text" from Rolls. To which I responded "I think we should just be friends." Which again, was a stretch.

Rolls then went onto a tirade about how he preferred my friend, whom he spoke to all of 5 seconds when i went to the bathroom. Who was also there with her boyfriend. He also told me we were on different dance floors. Literally the man told me that "he wanted to face dance, and I wanted to slow dance." I didnt want to touch him, let alone dance.

So Rolls and I went our separate ways. During playoffs he wrote a very inappropriate comment on my facebook wall. It was berating me for my amazing baseball team of choice, saying it was a good thing we didnt work out because he hated that team. Um, sir. No no no. Sure, it would have been funny if we were friends, or uh even hung out 3+ times. Luckily I was stalking on facebook that day and deleted the post immediately.

Today Rolls popped up again. He was de-friending people with this rational: "Going from 500 to 200 friends...Sorry if you dont see me on here anymore, and dont take offense. If I have to read about how someone's boss is really pissing them off today, or how someone thinks they have the best BF in the world, I want them to be someone I give a damn about, not the friend of someone I give a damn about or someone I havent spoken to in 10 years. Later"

And you know what, I actually get that. Do what you gotta do man. Certainly, I thought..this was the end of my FB friendship with Rolls. And good riddance.

To my surprise, I made the facebook cut. How could this be, I actually pondered to myself for a second. And then went about my business. Until.....up pops a message in my gchat informing me someone has written on my wall. As if he had read my mind, he read: "If you were wondering...you made the cut because you're cute =)"

Shudder.

Again, really? Rolls. C'mon. Luckily, again I was monitoring my gchat like a hawk so I deleted the post. This kid actually has a girlfriend now. What possess people to do such things?

Anyways, I know I have the power to de-friend Rolls whenever I please. But instead of pissing me off like last time, this time was actually amusing. Sure, I don't want that written on my wall. And yes, one weekend if, god forbid, I leave facebook unattended for hours, nay, days at a time, he could write something beyond these crazy shenanigans on there. But for now, it provided me some entertainment. And good reading for you dear people.

So, I'm sure, sooner or later, I'm going to have to de-friend Rolls. But for now, I'll persist in this dysfunctional facebook friendship for the sake of my craft...and your amusement.

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